My 1-Year-Old Lets Other Kids Take Toys From Him
Rebecca Parlakian is ZERO TO THREE’s Senior Director of Programs at ZERO TO THREE, where she directs a portfolio…
It is hard to know exactly what this means for your son now and for the long run. By nature, he may be a laid-back kid and simply may not mind when other children “share” his toy. This doesn’t mean that he won’t become more assertive as he grows and matures. You will likely see him becoming at least a little more possessive as he enters the toddler years and begins to understand the idea of “mine!”
If you are concerned that his lack of assertiveness reflects a lack of confidence, look for ways to be his coach.
If you are concerned that his lack of assertiveness reflects a lack of confidence, look for ways to be his coach. When you see he wants something, encourage him to go for it. For example, if he is waiting patiently for a turn on the slide but is letting kids cut him, stand beside him and say, “Do you want a turn? Go ahead,” while guiding him to the stairs. When a child takes his toy, you might say, “Oh no! Jim took the train. But it was your turn to play with it. Let’s go ask for it back.” The idea is to guide him and give him the words so that eventually he can take action himself.
It’s important to find that balance between being a coach (which helps your child feel more capable and confident) and fighting your child’s battles for him, which leads to less self-confidence, not more. But with your encouragement, he will begin to gain the skills and strategies he needs to stand up for himself.
