As much as we may love this time of year, it’s also a time when we can feel extra stress. As we hurry to cross things off our to-do list, it’s easy to miss the most important “to-do” of all: spending time with our little ones.
Mindfulness teacher Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.”
The gift of our full, undivided attention is hard when we are busy and have lots of distractions and thoughts that weigh on us. Yet we know that this kind of loving presence is something children need.
When children receive our nurturing attention, they flourish within warm feelings of being seen and heard.
During the holiday season, it can be even harder than usual to find these moments for calming connection. When we take a break from the bustle, slow down and give that precious gift of mindful attention to our children, we let them know how much they are loved.
This attention also helps them adapt to the excitement and unusual routines that may come at this time of year.
Connecting in this way is good for us, too. We get a chance to enjoy the feelings and intentions that are a part of this season – love and gratitude.
Here are some ways to practice presence this holiday season:
1. Be Intentional
- Set aside dedicated time each day—even just a few minutes—to silence or turn off all technology (phones, TV, tablets).
- Use this time to connect fully with your child, free from distractions.
- Even short bursts of intentional connection can have a big impact on your child’s sense of security and closeness.
2. Find Your Own Calm First
- Before engaging with your child, pause and check in with your own body.
- Take three slow belly breaths (or more) to ground yourself.
- When you feel calmer, you’re better able to be the steady, comforting presence your little one needs—especially during a busy season.
3. Let Your Child Lead
- Notice what draws your child’s attention and let them set the pace.
- Follow their curiosity with encouragement and delight.
- Example: If your child gets excited about seeing the moon out the window at bedtime, pause to look together—share the moment.
4. Use Your Senses to Savor the Season
Share a Mindful Meal or Snack
- Explore a seasonal food—like a clementine, cranberry bread, or peppermint cocoa—using all your senses.
- Talk about how it looks, smells, feels, and tastes, giving your child words to describe their experiences.
Take a Walk Together
- Head outside and notice the signs of the season.
- Invite your child to look, listen, touch, and smell:
- What do you hear? Crunchy leaves? Birds?
- What do you feel? A cool breeze? The warm sun?
- Describe what you’re experiencing to help your child build language and share in your joy.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
- Presence starts with self-compassion.
- Take a moment for something that brings you joy—a warm drink, a quiet minute, a favorite hobby.
- When you care for yourself, you feel better and can give your child the focused, nurturing attention they need.
