6-Month Developmental Milestones: What to Expect

There has been a lot of attention recently on the importance of reading and the critical role it plays in helping a child succeed in school. Clearly you are actively promoting these skills by introducing your 6-month-old to the joy of books. She, in turn, is showing you how much she likes them: by chewing and mouthing their pages.

Babies explore the world through their senses—using their eyes, hands, and mouths. Mouthing is not only normal, it’s one of the first and most useful ways that babies gather information about the shape, size, and texture of the objects in their world. Books, with their bright colors and flapping pages, are especially fascinating, so your daughter is doing all she can to learn more about these funny and delightful square things.

Some parents wonder why it is important to read to a baby who is not even using words yet. But it is actually in these early months and years that the foundation for talking and reading is being built. As you read to your child, she is learning to tune into the sounds of her home language and is becoming familiar with the rhythm of speech. And hearing words over and over helps her eventually learn their meaning.

Reading also nurtures a love of and interest in books. The goal at this age is for book exploration to be a pleasurable and positive experience that makes your child eager to keep interacting with and learning about books. So go ahead and give your child chunky board books or soft cloth books that she can safely explore and chew on. Offering these kinds of books will limit your having to say “No,” or having to take the book away, which can lead to negative feelings about books. Until she is a little older and can safely handle paper pages, you may want to keep that treasured copy of Goodnight, Moon out of reach.

You’ve already taken the most important step by tuning in to the fact that your daughter is slow-to-warm-up to new people. Plus, it is common for babies this age to cling because they are beginning to understand the difference between the people they know and those they don’t.

If possible, invite your babysitter to come over and spend time with your child, while you are there, before the wedding. Feeling comfortable with this new person in her life can be very helpful and ease the transition. This gives your daughter a chance to get to know the sitter in the safety of your presence. It will also give you a chance to talk about how you care for your daughter, including the way she likes to be held and fed, what upsets her, and how to soothe her.

On the night you’re going out, ask the sitter to come to your house about a half hour before you plan to leave to give your daughter time to feel more comfortable with her. When the sitter arrives, sit down with her and your baby for a few minutes and get involved in an activity, such as playing with toys or looking at a favorite book. That way, when you leave, your daughter and the sitter will already be engaged.

When you head out the door, it’s important that you say good-bye. Avoid the temptation to sneak out. While she may still cry at your departure, saying good-bye tells your child she can count on you to let her know what’s going on, and that she doesn’t have to worry that you’re going to disappear without warning. Say your good-bye with a cheerful tone, smiles, and warm hugs. If you have a worried look on your face and a quivering voice, the message you are sending is that you don’t feel good about leaving her and that there is something to worry about. If you’re concerned about how your daughter is doing, call the caregiver a little while after you leave to check in.

Losing a parent is hard at any time, but losing a mother when you have just become a parent yourself can be particularly painful. What you are experiencing—loss of energy and interest, lack of pleasure in what was once joyful to you—are very normal symptoms of grief. Your inability to interact with your child in a way that once came so easily is common.

What a challenging time this must be for you. You are a child, mourning and missing your mother. At the same time you are a parent who is responsible for taking care of the needs and feelings of a young child. The fact that in the midst of your suffering you are able to think about your child is very important because it opens the door to finding ways to meet both your need and your baby’s needs.

Your concern about your child’s development is valid. At this age, children are building their attachments to people. These early relationships lay the foundation for developing healthy, positive attachments in the future. Babies are sensitive to what’s going on around them, especially to their mother’s moods and to any changes in their world. Your baby is likely experiencing his own loss as you are not the Mommy he has known, the Mommy who used to play and laugh with him a lot. This can lead to babies feeling sad themselves and becoming more irritable, clingy, and demanding.

Research shows that what matters most to the baby over the long run is how long the mother’s grief reaction or depression lasts. During this period, you will be sad and it is normal and necessary to mourn. So it is important for both you (and therefore your baby) to get the support you need to cope with and work through this terrible loss. For most, it is too much to go through on one’s own, which is why it is very important that you seek professional help. There are grief counselors specially trained to help. You can contact your local mental health agency for referrals or talk with your health care provider. Also, check your newspaper for support groups for women who are coping with loss. They can be useful as well. Talking with friends and family is important and can be helpful, too, but it does not replace professional help.

To make sure your son’s needs are met during this time, ask your husband or partner to help out more. Ask a family member or a babysitter to come in a few times a week to care for and play with your son and to give you a break. Do one or two activities with your son that require less energy, for example, reading or taking walks together. And try to see your time with your son as an opportunity to keep your mother’s spirit alive. Do you have special memories of singing a particular song or reading a book with your mother? Did your family have any cherished family traditions, like pancakes every Sunday? Think about introducing these into your family’s daily routines and rituals. You may even find some comfort in repeating these loved traditions from childhood with your own baby.

This is a very difficult time. It is important that you continue to think about and take care of yourself and your baby, and ask for the support of friends, family, and trusted professionals.