Temperament is not something your child chooses, nor is it something that you created.
Parenting Low and Big Reactors
Every child processes the world differently. Some children react calmly to new experiences, while others experience big emotions and intense reactions. Understanding these differences is key to managing tantrums, supporting toddler emotions, and helping children build essential social and emotional skills.
What Is a Low Reactor?
Low Reactors are children who tend to show subtle emotional and physical responses.
They might:
Be quieter and fuss less than their peers
Sleep more than average
Show minimal changes in facial expression, tone of voice, or posture
Tolerate higher levels of sensory stimulation
Although they may seem easier to manage, Low Reactors need active engagement to stay stimulated. Parents may need to be more creative and animated to help these children connect and learn.
What Is a Big Reactor?
Big Reactors express their feelings with intensity and clarity.
They might:
Squeal with joy when happy or shout, hit, or bite when upset
Be highly sensitive to tags in clothing, food textures, smells, or loud noises
Experience what may seem like sensory meltdowns in response to overwhelming environments
Important: Big reactions are not bad. Big emotions are a normal part of development. But when these reactions feel too frequent or intense to manage alone, it may be time to explore strategies — or seek help from professionals.
How to Support Your Child Based on Their Temperament
Parenting Strategies for Low Reactors
1. Turn Up the Volume—Gently
Use energetic voices, dynamic music, and interactive play to engage your child. Be silly and creative to draw them in without overstimulating them.
2. Make Play Physical
Low-intensity children often respond well to movement-based activities. Rough-and-tumble play or simple dancing can spark their interest.
3. Get Interactive
Play games that involve taking turns—rolling a ball, building with blocks, or passing toys back and forth. These promote social and emotional skills through active participation.
4. Follow Their Interests
If your child enjoys singing or dancing, join them! Sharing activities strengthens your bond and keeps them engaged.
Parenting Strategies for Big Reactors
1. Tune Things Down
Create a calm environment with soft music, gentle lighting, and cozy textures. This helps avoid triggering sensory meltdowns.
2. Offer Comfort and Validation
Big Reactors need to feel heard. Hold them, rock them, and validate their feelings:
“I know it’s hard when it’s loud. I see you’re upset.”
This builds trust and helps them learn how to deal with big emotions.
3. Anticipate Challenges and Plan
Prepare your child for stimulating events:
“Tyler’s birthday might be noisy. Should we bring your headphones or take breaks outside?”
4. Don’t Punish Big Feelings
Avoid labeling your child as “overreacting.” These are genuine feelings. Instead, teach them that feeling strongly is okay, and show them tools to calm down and self-regulate.
Helping Children Navigate Sensory and Emotional Responses
Ask yourself:
How does my child react to different sensory inputs—lights, sounds, textures, and smells?
Does my child express emotions with low, medium, or high intensity?
What kinds of physical contact does my child enjoy or dislike?
Is my child easily overwhelmed by certain sensations or settings?
How often does my child need help to calm down?
These questions help identify patterns and guide how you can best support your child’s emotional development.
When to Seek Support
While big emotions are typical in young children, frequent meltdowns, difficulty calming down, or extreme responses to sensory input may signal a need for professional support. Working with a pediatrician, early childhood specialist or occupational therapist can provide strategies for helping your child thrive.
Positive parenting means taking an approach that is sensitive to children’s individual needs.
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