Few sounds pull at a parent like a crying baby — and few things are harder to sit with, especially at 2 AM when nothing seems to help. The truth is, crying isn’t a sign that something has gone wrong. It’s simply one way babies communicate before they have any other words to use.
Crying Is Communication
A crying baby isn’t a crisis so much as a mystery for parents to solve. It’s one of the earliest tools infants have to get what they need most: their caregiver’s attention. Crying, feeding and sleeping are all closely connected, so the most useful first step is often to notice the pattern, not just the crying itself, across a baby’s whole day.
How Much Crying Is Normal?
Nearly all babies go through a “honeymoon period” in their first days and weeks, followed by a predictable rise in crying that tends to peak around six to eight weeks of age. At that peak, it’s common for babies to cry more than two hours a day. For the vast majority of families, this eases noticeably by three to four months.
Some babies cry enough to meet the clinical definition of colic; often described using the “rule of three“: more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for more than three weeks, in a baby who is otherwise healthy and well-fed. Depending on the study, colic affects somewhere between 5% and 25% of infants. This is a common experience, and not a reflection of anything a parent is doing wrong, and it does not predict what kind of child your baby will grow up to be.
There's No One Right Way to Soothe a Baby
Staying calm is often the hardest part; not the baby’s crying itself. Here are a few things that can help:
- Work through the checklist, then give yourself (and the baby) a break. Once you’ve tried offering comfort and have checked for hunger, a diaper change, temperature and tiredness, and nothing is working, it’s okay to place your baby safely in a crib or bassinet and step away for a few minutes. This isn’t neglect; taking a brief break can help you return calmer and ready to comfort your baby.
- Know when to step away. It’s normal to feel frustrated when your baby won’t stop crying, but it’s never safe to shake a baby. If you feel overwhelmed, place your baby somewhere safe and call a trusted friend, family member, or partner for support.
- Build in real recovery time. Even 30 minutes a day of something that’s just for you — a shower, a walk, a few pages of a book — makes a measurable difference in how much patience you have left for the hard hours.
- Call in your village. Asking someone you trust to hold your baby for an hour so you can nap, eat, or just breathe isn’t a failure; it’s exactly the kind of support this stage is supposed to include.
When It's More Than Just Exhaustion
It’s common for parents, especially mothers, of a fussy or colicky baby to also be feeling stressed, sad or low. Postpartum depression affects approximately 10-20% of new mothers, and research suggests there is a two-way relationship between a baby’s persistent crying, disrupted sleep, and a parent’s mental health.
If you’re finding it hard to enjoy your baby, feeling persistently down or anxious, or experiencing thoughts that scare you, reach out to your doctor, midwife, or a mental health professional. You don’t have to go through it alone, and support can make a meaningful difference for both you and your baby.
The Bottom Line
Crying is one of the first ways babies communicate. You won’t always know why your baby is crying, and that’s okay. What matters most is responding with comfort and care while also taking care of yourself.
This stage won’t last forever. With time, support, and responsive caregiving, both you and your baby will grow through it together.
FAQs
Is PURPLE crying the same as colic?
PURPLE crying and colic describe very similar patterns of intense, prolonged crying in otherwise healthy babies. The main difference is how the crying is understood and described.
Colic is an older medical term traditionally used for excessive crying, often associated with the “rule of three”: crying for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for at least three weeks.
The Period of PURPLE Crying is a newer educational framework that helps parents understand that increased crying during the first few months of life can be a normal, temporary stage of infant development. PURPLE stands for Peak of crying, Unexpected, Resists soothing, Pain-like face, Long lasting and Evening.
Rather than viewing the crying as an illness that needs to be “cured,” the PURPLE crying framework emphasizes that this period typically improves as a baby grows and develops.
What causes colic in babies?
There isn’t one known cause of colic. Researchers have considered factors such as a baby’s developing digestive and nervous systems, sensitivity to stimulation and differences in how babies regulate themselves. Colic is not caused by something a parent did wrong, and having colic does not mean a baby is unhealthy.
How long does colic last?
Colic is temporary. It usually begins when a baby is a few weeks old, often peaks around 6 weeks and generally improves significantly by 3 to 4 months of age. Every baby is different, so the timing can vary.
Why does my baby cry more at night?
Many babies have periods when they cry more in the late afternoon or evening. This is sometimes called the “witching hour.” Babies may be tired or overstimulated after taking in sights, sounds and interactions throughout the day. Evening crying is especially common during the first few months and usually decreases as babies develop.
When should I worry about excessive crying?
Contact your baby’s health care provider if their crying suddenly changes, seems unusual or you are concerned something is wrong. Seek prompt medical attention for concerning symptoms such as difficulty breathing, repeated vomiting, poor feeding, unusual sleepiness, dehydration, injury or fever. A baby younger than 3 months with a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher needs prompt medical evaluation.
Related Resources
Listen as Dr. Pam High talks about one of the most distressing issues for so many new parents: how to cope with fussiness and crying
Watch: More on Coping With Crying
In this short video, parenting experts Claire Lerner and Rebecca Parlakian talk through why there’s no single fix for a fussy baby and why staying responsive – even without a quick solution – is what helps babies feel secure.
